I didn’t realize how difficult it was to write an adaptation of a play from a book, vs. writing a play simply from what my mind conjured up. I’m so honored and blessed that our paths crossed, that the Lord wanted us to meet and that she is allowing me to turn her story into a play. Knowing what I know about writing, I needed the right atmosphere and space; allowing the creative juices to flow. I asked my husband if he could move our small desk from our guest room into our bedroom. He, being very practical said, “We have a perfectly good and usable desk downstairs that you can set the laptop on and write.” Well, being who I am said, “But honey, it doesn’t have they same view our bedroom offers.” With a hint of naive persnickety, he replied, “Won’t that be more distracting.”
With my desk situated in my room, candles in place,book, pencil, highlighter and paper laid out, I figured I was ready to dive in. Not so much. 😦 I thought I was prepared. You know, comfortable setting, nice view, read the book, been meeting with the author, so what’s the problem. The lovely nemesis of writers block. How perfect our Lord is though. In reading my devotion today I’m overwhelmed at how well HE knows me and gives me exactly what I need. ” Go gently though this day, keeping your eyes on Me. I will open up the way before you, as you take steps of trust along your path. Sometimes they way before you appears to be blocked. If you focus on the obstacle or search for a way around it, you will probably go off course. Instead, focus on Me, the Shepherd who is leading you along your life-journey. Before you know it, the “obstacle” will be behind you and you will hardly know how you passed through it.” Wow! Need I say more.
I did it, I signed the contract. I feel I can officially say I’m a writer and director now. After I started making that statement to several people that asked how everything went, I started thinking about identity and why I felt I had to attach a title to myself. I realized though, I don’t want my identity; that which I am, to be that which I do. So who am I? I’m passionate, and feel deeply and everything. I’m ambitions and tenacious. I’m introverted and guarded, intuitive and discerning. I’m inquisitive, analytic, and a philosophical, optimistic dreamer. I am a child of God, daughter, mother, and wife. When asked
what I did for a living I would answer, with this undertone of sadness, “I’m a home maker/mom.” That’s crazy, I’m not sad for being a mom, I love that I’m a mom, it’s not what I do though, it’s who I am. Doing the laundry, making lunches and dinner, cleaning the house, helping with homework are the physical acts of doing something, but that doesn’t make me who I am. I think the reason I was feeling unsettled, was because I’m passionate, ambitious and a child of God and with who I am created these desires to do more than just housework. I desired to write and direct plays and now I can officially say, “I write and direct for a living!” I believe God wants us to identify with the Characteristics of Jesus Christ and allow those same characteristics to form in our lives creating who we are. I also believe that who we are many times transcends into what we do, but I believe we need to remember that the physical things we do don’t define who we are.
We meet again…I really need to stop neglecting you like this. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately from people doing pretty adventurous things, traveling the world, getting married, having children, moving to exotic places…finding the cure to the common cold, you know adventurous things. I spent the weekend with my two favorite men, my son and husband exploring the rough terrain (it was in my head) of a dinosaur corn maze. Sounds pretty adventurous, right? I loved the excitement that my son had as we entered the maze; which way to go, right or left; the 3.1 mile walk determined to find all checkpoints, and to walk away with a gummy dinosaur. I guess adventure is really determined by the one living it out. As I look to the future, focusing on what adventures await me, I can’t help but reflect on my adventures as a mom, church volunteer, community theater volunteer and wife. No I haven’t physically traveled the world, or left the United States, but I’ve discovered new territories while quizzing my son in Geography. If you’re a parent of a 2 or 3 year old that’s adventure right there, ( oh how I remember those days). There’s a certain kind of adventure lurking around the corner working with teenagers, that’s every Thursday or youth group outing for me. Thursdays before group, grinding my teeth waiting to see what game my husband has come up with, re-defines adventure. It’s sort of a mystery what kind of adventure you’re going to walk into when directing a play and facing the final dress rehearsal.
Pressing on toward my dreams, dreams that I have kept in my pocket far too long, I feel like I’m about to leap off a cliff into a sea of uncertainty. I love my heavenly father, He will never lead me astray and I know He always has my back, but not being able to see all the details of what you’re about to jump into can be paralyzing sometimes. Being a Christian is one adventurous ride!
I know he will light my path, just enough to see what’s a few feet in front of me, but it’s still scary nonetheless. The Lord showed me almost a year ago a new adventure He was about to take me on; He lit up the path so to speak. I met this lady who wrote and published a book and had a desire to turn it into a play. I wont bore you with the details, but the “how” we met has the Lord written all over it; it’s unmistakable. Now about to sign the contract and start writing has me sitting here ready to take the plunge. Feeling the Lord tell me, “Robin one step at a time”, makes me snicker as my mind races with anticipation of directing my first professional play, that I wrote! Thoughts of the adventurous nights of practices, opening night and taking it on the road to other states overwhelm me with joy; yet I hear the Lord again saying, “Slow down, don’t get ahead of yourself.” I’ve prayed often about my dream, wondering if it will ever become a reality and yet here it is. I hear the Lord say, “grab onto my hand as I take you on this adventurous journey.”
In my devotion today it said, “The promise of My Presence is a powerful protection. If you take your eyes off Me and follow another’s way, you are in grave danger. Even well-meaning friends can lead you astray if you let them usurp My place in your life. The way to stay on the path of Life is to keep your focus on Me. Awareness of My Presence is your best protection.” Matthew 28:20; Hebrews 12:1-2
Thank you Lord that you want to use my gifts and talents in this way.
Video Posted on Updated on
Oh, how it’s has been too long my dear friend. Writing has always been such a friend that I can release myself in, sorry for neglecting you so. I recently read a post stating, “why do I keep putting the energy into something if nothing comes from it.” I can’t begin to explain how often I feel this same way. How many times I stay up late, give up free time, sacrifice fun, to put my all into something that doesn’t receive recognition, or how often my ideas or, “2 cents” is overlooked. But then, there’s that quite voice, that reminder of what scripture says, Hebrews 6:10-12, ” For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love you have demonstrated for his name, in having served and continuing to serve the saints. But we passionately want each of you to demonstrate the same eagerness for the fulfillment of your hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and perseverance inherit the promises”, or what 1 Corinthians 15:58 says, “So then, dear brothers and sisters, be firm.Do not be moved! Always be outstanding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”
I understand we want the rewards now, and we want that pat on the back. We want to know that there is going to be a pay off. The encouragement I can offer is God knows. I understand that may not be enough…I know how it feels to stand alone and to patiently wait…so does Jesus. This life is hard, people get caught up in self, they are unintentional with their words or sometime lack thereof. People fail and disappoint, but God’s word is fulfilling, his promises kept, and his love eternal.
After helping with auditions and interviews for an upcoming musical I’m a part of, and working with teens in youth ministry for; well I don’t know how many years now, I’m perplexed.What is it about people who choose to follow the teachings of the bible, about christian organizations, and/or churches, that either draws others wanting to be a part of this “sect” of people, or leads them to mock, judge, ridicule and put down those that live this way? There doesn’t seem to be a gray area. I asked one of those auditioning, why this type of performing arts group vs. another? Answer, “Because, I won’t be looked down upon because of what I look like.” I recently asked another young adult why they don’t go to church? Answer, “Because I’ve been judged, I was looked down upon because of the things I’ve done in the past.” How is it two different people experienced two completely differentreactions from the same type of group? Christians.
I would actually like to set this up as a discussion forum rather than just sharing my incites on this. So please comment and share your view points.
I forgot how the editing processing can be grueling and requires time. I wanted to have scene two posted sooner, but as I mentioned it requires time to revise.
In this scene, Jordan reveals to his two best friends, Clinton and Raeann why he has come back home. Jordan wants to write his Dissertation on the supernatural, and interview former classmates on unexplained phenomena they may have experienced. Clinton and Raeann being skeptical themselves, believes Jordan is just reaching out for a reason to hang on to his diseased parents.
Once again, if you enjoyed this scene please comment and share. I would love to hear from you.
Jordan, Clinton and Raeann are sitting around the table reminiscing about old times. Raeann is in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast.
RAEANN & CLINTON: Good morning!
RAEANN: Would you like some coffee?
JORDAN: Yes please. Thank you.
CLINTON: How did you sleep? I heard sounds coming from your room, sounded like you were thrashing around and talking to someone.
JORDAN: It’s possible I was talking in my sleep. I noticed my bed was a little sordid when I woke up, but I felt like I slept like a baby. I don’t know what to tell you, but thank you both again for letting me stay with you.
RAEANN: No problem, Jordan, anytime.
CLINTON: Well, then, since you had a good night’s rest, and you are settled in, no point in prolonging the topic. Why are you here?
RAEANN: Clinton, don’t be rude. He doesn’t have to tell us if he doesn’t want to. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you Jordan that we have been friends since 6th grade and we’re letting you stay here, free of charge, and…
JORDAN: Okay, okay, you two don’t give up do you? I do owe you for taking me in, and for not making it to the wedding. So, let me take you out tonight to our favorite hang out place; Ricky’s Bar and Grill.
CLINTON: Oh no you don’t, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to bribe us so you won’t have to tell us the real reason why you are here.
RAEANN: Speak for yourself. I love that place, I miss the times when the three of us would just hang out there.
JORDAN: (Giving a sheepish grin) Alright, I give up, I’ll tell you. I know you both were worried about me going over to the cemetery last night. It was written all over your faces. I came back to work on my Dissertation.
RAEANN: Well that’s great Jordan! You know you have our support right, so why the big secret?
CLINTON: Of course we will, but why now and what are you writing about that would bring you back here?
JORDAN: Yes, of course I know you two will be here to support me, but I also know, you both will worry yourselves sick if you knew part of my inspiration for my paper has to deal with my parents.
CLINTON: So what is your dissertation going to be on? Your parents’ death?
CLINTON: Sorry, that was out of line.
JORDAN: It’s okay. You are sort of right. I want to solve the mysteries behind some strange occurrences that keep happening.
Clinton and Raeann look at each other and laugh.
CLINTON: Dude that’s lame. What are you Sherlock or something?
RAEANN: Jordan, you really aren’t doing your Dissertation on unsolved mysteries…are you?
JORDAN: Well not exactly.
CLINTON: Not exactly? Now you’re scaring me.
JORDAN: You both have to promise me you won’t think I’m crazy, and don’t tell me I need to have my head examined.
RAEANN: Just tell us what’s going on.
JORDAN: I’m writing my paper on the supernatural. (Awkward pause as Clinton and Raeann give Jordan a blank stare) Okay, guys please don’t just stare at me, say something.
CLINTON: What do you want me to say? You already told me what you didn’t want me to say.
RAEANN: Jordan, we’re just trying to understand. Are you sure you’re not just trying to hold onto your parents? When it comes to life after death, what happens to us when we die are all common questions. If you’re trying to hold onto them, that’s completely natural, but to consider writing your paper about ghosts, really Jordan?
JORDAN: I’m not writing about ghosts. But I’m a journalist or at least I’m trying to be and I’d really like to try and uncover the truth about why the three of us experience unexplained phenomena. Why things go missing from my apartment, or why doors open on their own? The list goes on, and I know there are many people who have had things happen beyond their comprehension. I know there are people who share similar experiences, but are afraid to share them because of what others may think.
CLINTON: What are you talking about? Everything you’re talking about can be explained, it all has a rational explanation.
JORDAN: Clint, you’re talking as if you haven’t experienced some of the same stuff with me.
CLINTON: Oh come on Jordan, you can’t take anything we experienced as children as reality. We were young with impressionable minds. It’s crazy how your mind can play tricks on you when you are young and scared.
RAEANN: Jordan, does this have to do with what happened in the hospital that night? Don’t get me wrong, it was a little strange that we all had similar experiences, but to claim it as more than a coincidence is silly. Your parents had just died and not an expected one. All of our emotions were high, and I know the chemicals in our brain can cause us to see, believe and even wish something badly enough that we can sense a presence.
JORDAN: Yes, I want to figure out what happened that night, but it’s so much more. Clint, please tell me you remember the time we thought we heard little footsteps running across the floor when you and I were the only ones in the house?
CLINTON: I don’t remember that, but what kid doesn’t like to get their adrenaline pumping a little. Isn’t that the reason why we go on roller coasters, or play those ridiculous scary games? How about those nights we would stay up late watching scary movies and then swear we heard or saw something before we pass out. It’s the “high” from the scare.
JORDAN: So you are telling me that we both heard the exact same thing and we both said it sounded like little feet running through the hall? So that was just a coincidence? I know you both are just being good friends and looking out for me, but I didn’t choose this topic for my paper off a whim. A journalist is inquisitive, skeptical, determined and motivated, all qualities that make me, me. These are the same qualities that you love about me. I know this may not make sense to you right now, but that’s my job to take something that is nonsensical and make of it. If all my hunches and rabbit trails, are just that, then I will back out of this and find a new topic.
RAEANN: Clinton and I will be here to support you and we both, will try and keep an open mind. Right Clinton?
CLINTON: Sure sweetheart, of course man, like she said…we are here for you.
JORDAN: Well if you really want to help, you wouldn’t happen to have any of your high school yearbooks on hand would you?
RAEANN: I’m sure I can find the box they’re in, in the garage. What do you need old yearbooks for?
JORDAN: There are a couple of people I’d like to interview. I remember hearing some stories from some of our classmates. Since I’m here it would be nice to catch up with some old acquaintances.
CLINTON: Speaking of old acquaintances, do you remember that crazy girl, oh what’s her name, she was into all that weird stuff…she had long hair, sort of kept to herself?
RAEANN: Mavis, Mavis Dellinger. I don’t think it’s very nice though to call her crazy. Yes, she was a little different from the rest of us and I personally thought her thinking was a little radical, but that doesn’t mean you should call her crazy.
CLINTON: You’re right, I shouldn’t call her crazy. She sort of gave me the chills though. Wasn’t she into all that voodoo, turning-people-into-rodents’ kind of thing?
JORDAN: I don’t know man, the only thing I remember about her is that night I went into her tent at after-prom. Besides, what does that have to do with the supernatural?
CLINTON: I don’t know, it’s just that maybe you two have something in common. And wait…what…you went into her tent, at after- prom. Where was I?
JORDAN: So because I want to explore the supernatural you are putting me in the same category as her, and need I remind you what you were doing…or whom you were with?
CLINTON: What? Oh…yeah, I remember…Sophie.
RAEANN: I’d rather not remember Sophie.
CLINTON: Sweetheart, that was in high school. I love you and I married you.
RAEANN: Oh I’m not jealous of her; she just rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t think she liked me very well either. Okay, can we get back to the point, boys?
JORDAN: Right, well she was working the fortuneteller’s booth. Get your head out of the gutter Clint; I thought you knew me better than that. Just for kicks I thought I would go in and see if she could really tell my fortune, not hook up with her. Honestly, I didn’t think I believed in that stuff, but after what she told me I haven’t been able to let it go.
RAEANN: What did she tell you?
JORDAN: She first asked if there was something I was seeking an answer for. She specifically told me not to tell her any details regarding what I was seeking an answer for, just to answer the question with a “yes” or “no.” She then shuffled the tarot cards, and when she turned the first card over it was the hanged man card. She told me that I was at a cross roads in my life and that I needed to make a decision, and based on that decision would lead to very different outcomes.
CLINTON: That is so general man, how could that have left an impression on you.
JORDAN: Because, I was at an impasse. I didn’t know which college I wanted to go to. The “big” deal was, no one knew I was struggling with which college I should go to. You all assumed I would stay in North Kingstown and write for our local paper. What would you guys have done if I told you I was thinking about going to school on the west coast and get my degree in criminal investigation? I know you two; you would have never let me go anywhere close to the west coast. It made an impression because no one knew I had applied to San Jose University in California and received a partial scholarship when I also received the same offer to Boston Massachusetts. I was at an impasse, and she was the only one who knew about it.
RAEANN: Wow, Jordan, I had no idea. I’m glad you decided to go to BWU. Journalism suits you, but you should have told us. We would have been here for you in the decision making process. Of course we wouldn’t have wanted you to leave but we are friends.
CLINTON: Dude, that’s messed up man. We’re supposed to be best friends, how could you leave me out of the loop.
RAEANN: Just let him go. He needs to cool off. You know Clinton, he’s sort of thick headed and…
JORDAN … And he has a short fuse…I know.
RAEANN: He just missed you, that’s all. He’ll be okay after he walks it off.
JORDAN: Thanks Raeann, you were always the level headed one. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know if Mavis still lives here.
RAEANN: As a matter of fact, she owns an occult shop downtown. Why, are you thinking of talking to her?
JORDAN: Yeah, I think I would just like to ask her why she chose this path.
RAEANN: Just be careful please. I have heard some not so nice stories involving her and the things she believes in.
JORDAN: Of course Raeann.
Aside Posted on Updated on
“I am pleased with you, my child. Allow yourself to become fully aware of my pleasure shining upon you. You don’t have to perform well in order to receive My love. In fact, a performance focus will pull you away from Me, toward some sort of Pharisaism. This can be a subtle form of idolatry: worshiping your own good works. It can also be a source of deep discouragement when your works don’t measure up to your expectation.”
Ephesians 2:8-9; 3:16-19, Psalm 62;8
What a beautiful reminder, especially for me working in the arts. How difficult it is to stay humble, especially when, memorizing lines, working on choreography, writing scripts…all requires what seems like perfection. How does one maintain balance in this industry or shall I say ministry? I know I must shift my focus from my performance, to God’s radiant presence. I was working with someone who I think lost sight of this.Their desire was to just give it their all… I think there is a fine line that is crossed when Christ followers go from saying I just want to give my best, to worshiping our own good works. It’s so easy to be soaring on a cloud when given praise for something done well, where do you turn the focus? We need to remember that the light of our heavenly father’s love shines on us regardless of our feelings, behaviors and performances. I believe exercising the disciplines of putting all our thankfulness and trust in Him at all times, will keep one free from possibly crossing that line. “Thankfulness and trust are your primary receptors.”